


How Long

by alwaysbringbackup_03



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor Friendship, Canon Divergence, Episode S03E02 Divergence, F/F, Identity Reveal, Kara Danvers & Winn Schott Jr. Friendship, Lena goes to the DEO, Sick Kara Danvers, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 23:19:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12398319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysbringbackup_03/pseuds/alwaysbringbackup_03
Summary: A short three-shot about what might've happened if Kara passed out in the elevator, and had somebody find her. What if Lena learned about Kara's secret identity on her very first day of running Catco? This diverges from canon after the angsty fight between Kara and Lena. (It basically starts with the elevator scene.) This idea has been bouncing around my head since last night!





	1. How Long

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or any part of the DC universe! All writing is done for enjoyment purposes only!

“I’ll be right there,” Kara spoke into the phone, in a brusque voice, before disconnecting the device. The fact is, no other words need to be said. Kara was already gearing up for the fight that she knew was coming. Without thinking, Kara dropped her phone into her bag and tugged at the fabric of her shirt, ripping it open in order to reveal the red and gold crest of her Supersuit that was underneath. The doors of the elevator slowly sealed themselves shut with a loud clank, giving Kara some much needed privacy. However, before Kara could do anything else, she felt reality alter before her very eyes. She let out a gasp, as she felt Psi attempt to force her way into Kara’s mind. For a moment, time stopped altogether, as Kara was left reeling. Kara was suddenly as helpless as she was in the bank vault. She could feel the walls of the elevator closing in around her. Part of her didn't want to admit what it really was. After all, Kara couldn't be having a panic attack. She hadn't had one of those since - well, let's just say it had been a really  _really_ long time. And so Kara leapt to the only other plausible conclusion.

Kara let out a sound of fear and desperation as she felt the space of the elevator grow exponentially smaller. Air seemed to bend before her very eyes. Light refracted, and Kara felt her stomach drop. She suddenly couldn’t make heads or tails of what she was seeing. In fact, she no longer knew which way was up and which was down. Kara stumbled against the wall, pressing into it with one hand, as her other clutched feebly at the handles of her bag. Kara let out a sharp breath, as the handle slipped from her fingers, and her bag hit the floor with a deafening thud. Her breaths came quickly - far too quickly, to be sure, and she felt her heart begin to race. It began to pound relentlessly, thundering in her temples. Kara could suddenly feel its beat in every vessel in her body, from her temples to the very tips of her toes. Her fingers seemed to be throbbing in time to the beat of Kara's heart, and she didn't know how to make it stop. The muscles in Kara's arms began to shake, as her hands curled into involuntary fists. She tried to fight off the feelings of fear and panic, but she wasn't getting anywhere.

Sweat began collecting on Kara’s face, and she took a staggering step over towards the buttons of the elevator, slamming them repeatedly and frantically with her fingers. She had one thought, and one thought only - she had to get out of there. She slammed the buttons harder, sending a prayer to Rao as she did so. She felt the plastic buttons crack beneath the force of her fingers. The buttons flickered as they shorted out. The elevator was moving so slowly -too slowly for her liking, and Kara began to panic.

 _Come on. Please_ , she silently begged, _Please let me get out of here._ She began repeating those words as a mantra.

What had happened just a few minutes ago, didn't help matters. Kara was an emotional wreck. She’d just treated Lena horribly, and she was truly afraid that she was about to lose the one person she had left – the one person she cared about more than anything. She had gotten Mon-El killed. Kara knew that now. And she feared it was only a matter of time until she lost Lena, too. She couldn't get the look on Lena's face out of her head. The brunette had been cold to her, distant and detached, but Kara knew that stemmed from her disappointment more than anything else. Kara's right arm reached toward the wall, attempting to steady her body as she felt her knees give under shaking limbs. Kara let out another sharp breath, as her knees gave out and she slid down onto the floor, her back sliding against the metal at her back. She could feel the friction and its counteractive power slowing her descent to the floor. Finally, she stopped as she hit the floor had enough to shake the whole elevator. Braced against the wall, Kara continued to gasp for breath, as her chest heaved up and down. Her breaths seemed in vain. Her chest was moving – heaving for breath, but there no oxygen was moving in her lungs. All of the air movement was essentially taking place in dead space. The oxygen wasn’t getting where it counted, to the alveoli of her lungs and the capillaries that surrounded them. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath - no matter what she did. Kara could feel the palpitations of her heart in her chest, with each painful clench of the muscle. She felt her vision begin to blur and narrow. Black spots gradually grew larger and larger in her vision, until they threatened to swallow everything. It was happening again, and she couldn’t stop it. She was going to pass out.

“No,” Kara whimpered, as she struggled. She couldn’t even move. “No, _please_.” Kara let out a sob. "I'm sorry. I'm so _sorry_ , Lena."

Kara lifted her palms to her eyes and pressed down as hard as she could, focusing on the resultant pain. Kara screamed, a gut-wrenching and desperate sound tore itself from the back of her throat. She was in pain - actual physical pain. And yet Kara welcomed it, because it separated imagination from reality. She knew the pain was real. It had a definitive cause. Kara felt tears burn hotly in her eyes, as she struggled to breathe. She let her hands fall away. With a small thud, she let her head fall back against the cool metal of the wall behind her. She silently begged for mercy from this sudden onslaught. If she could only just make it through this, then everything would be okay. But the fear in her body and her mind was too much. It was overtaking every other thought in her mind, threatening to drown them out in pain and sorrow. The pain she carried with her was becoming too much. It was overwhelming. Seeing Krypton explode – reliving all of those months she'd spent in that pod, isolated and _alone,_  had destroyed her all over again. Kara’s heart continued to race. She breathed in once, twice, three times, then felt her vision start to go altogether. She blinked over and over. Her eyelids fluttered fast and low over her eyes, as she fought the overwhelming fatigue with everything she had. She tried to push herself up. If she could only just get to her feet, then she could fly out of this box – this prison she found herself in. She made it several inches off of the floor. Her muscles strained with the exertion, as she fought for every centimeter. Kara let out a groan as her muscles gave out on her again, and she dropped back to the floor. It was too late; Kara let out one final heaving breath and slumped sideways, falling to the floor just as her eyelids fluttered shut one final time. Her battle for consciousness had been lost.

* * *

 

Lena wasn't faring much better than Kara. Minutes after their argument, Lena was still trying frantically to pull herself together - to somehow escape the stifling and suffocating anguish that seemed to be making her chest feet tight and constricted. She wished that she wasn't so affected by Kara's hostility, her coldness, but the truth was that Lena  _felt_ it. She felt it in ways she hadn't felt pain in a long time. She knew that Kara didn't meant to hurt her, but it didn't seem to matter. Kara's words, and her attitude tore into Lena in ways that left her feeling cold and empty inside. All she'd wanted was to be able to help. She wanted to make it better. She wished that somehow she could take away Kara's pain. After all, it killed her that Kara was hurting so much, over something that she'd done (whether it was unintentional or not). It killed her that Kara was so unwilling to talk to her about it. 

"Ma'am?" one of the board members spoke up, after Lena stopped in the middle of one of her powerpoint slides and failed to finish. She actually stopped talking in the middle of a sentence, making her slip-up even more apparent. "Miss Luthor? Are you alright?" 

Lena stared off into space for several moments, as she tried to gather her thoughts. There were so many thoughts and emotions to sort through, that Lena honestly felt overwhelmed. "Hmm?" Lena faltered, before she managed to shake herself out of her thoughts. "Oh, yes! I'm sorry, everyone. I'm afraid I'm a little distracted at the moment. I apologize," Lena cleared her throat. "Let's continue, shall we?" She received nods from around the table, and started anew, as if she'd never really stopped. Still, thoughts of Kara lingered in the back of her mind. The blonde's empty chair seemed to taunt her with the reporter's absence. And as much as she tried not to look at it, she found that her eyes kept drifting there, as if they were drawn to it.

Lena was towards the end of her presentation, when the head of security burst into the room.

“Ma’am,” Joel, the head of security spoke as he approached her at a near run, “I’m very sorry to interrupt, but I really need you to come with me. We’ve got a bit of a situation, and I could use your assistance. We've called an ambulance, but we’re not exactly sure what to do.” Lena met James’s concerned gaze.

“Excuse me,” Lena spoke to the others in the room. “The crazy life of a CEO, am I right?” she joked, as she rushed out the door with James on her heels. When the the head of security closed the door behind him, in order to grant them some privacy, Lena knew something was up.

“What’s going on?” she asked Joel in a hushed voice as soon as they were out in the hallway. "You said you'd called an ambulance? Is there some sort of a medical emergency?"

At least, she was 90% sure that was his name. She’d tried to familiarize herself with all of Catco’s employee files, but trying to memorize hundreds of names and their personal details was no easy feat.

"I'm afraid so, Ma'am," he replied, "and unfortunately the situation is a bit unique."

"How so?" Lena questioned.

“Well, it's... It’s Supergirl,” Joel told her in a calm voice. “She’s currently unconscious in the elevator, and we haven't been able to rouse her.”

“Oh my god,” James took off like a shot as soon as Joel's words sunk in, leaving Lena to chase after him. Lena wrenched her heels from her feet and followed, chasing him towards the elevator where she’d seen Kara vanish only minutes before, after their argument. When she happened upon him again, James was shoving his way past a couple of security officers and into the metal box where a lifeless Supergirl was slumped over on the floor.

“Oh god,” this was a sight that Lena could never be prepared to see. It was _Kara_. Kara was unconscious on the floor. Her shirt was torn open, revealing the blue Supersuit underneath. All of Lena's earlier suspicions of Supergirl’s true identity were suddenly being confirmed, but for some reason Lena couldn't bring herself to care about it. Over the last several months, Lena had given a lot of thought to how she might feel if she found out that her best friend had, in fact, been lying to her this last year. A part of Lena feared that she wouldn't be able to forgive Kara for her lies, and that she wouldn't be able to move past it. However, what shocked Lena the most, is that she didn't feel betrayed. She wasn't even angry. She was just _scared_. She was terrified beyond belief. And she couldn't bring herself to care about anything other than Kara's safety and well-being. Lena felt a spike of panic and fear surge through her, as she realized that Kara was sick, or possibly hurt. She couldn’t tell if the blonde’s chest was moving, but she prayed that it was.

“Kara,” James spoke as he gently turned Kara over onto her back, and began feeling for a pulse. Kara's arm flopped onto the ground beside her body. That's when it hit her. Kara was completely lifeless. She had no muscle tone, and was completely unresponsive. That scared the hell out of Lena. Hell, even James looked petrified. "Come on, Kara, wake up. You've got to open your eyes now. Please, Kara."

“Who else knows about this?” Lena asked the head of security.

“Just us, Ma’am,” he answered in a voice that was all business.

“I need to see the feed from the camera in that elevator,” Lena told him in authoritative voice. “In fact, I needed to see it five minutes ago. Also, I’m going to need you and your men to forget everything you’ve seen today. Are we clear?”

“Very, Ms. Luthor,” He nodded, before swallowing roughly over the sudden lump in his throat. “I - I’ll get right on that. I should have that footage for you in a few minutes.”

“Go,” Lena urged him. He gave her one final nod, and rushed into the elevator, pushing the button for the main floor. She had a feeling he wasn’t going to be a problem. It was the other two gentlemen she was worried about. Kara couldn’t afford for her secret to get out. Lena could feel her own heart racing. She felt responsible for this somehow. She’d been hard on Kara just a few minutes ago, perhaps _too hard_ on her. She'd just disliked that the blonde was shutting her out. She’d hated how Kara was sneaking around and lying to her. And now – now Lena knew why. Kara was Supergirl for Christ sake. She'd probably been leaving Catco periodically in order to take care of official Supergirl business, and Lena had practically ripped into her for it. Still, Kara needed her now. She needed Lena's help. So Lena tried to shove all of the other stuff out of her mind. She could deal with all of the emotions and their repercussions later.

Lena pushed her way into the elevator, just as James gently moved Kara into the recovery position so that the blonde could breathe a little easier.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Lena asked him accusingly. "You knew exactly where she was sneaking off to earlier."

“Of course I knew," James replied, as he met her eyes.

"Did she tell you?" Lena asked. A part of her wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer to that question, but another larger part of her _needed_ to know. She needed to know if she was the odd one out. She didn't want to be angry with Kara for keeping the secret, but she couldn't help but feel hurt. James knew. He'd known this whole time, and Lena had no flipping clue.

"No," James shook his head. "Look, Lena, I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. Kara didn't tell me. The truth is, I knew about Kara's biggest secret before I met her for the first time. I know that it seems a little unfair, but that's just the way it worked out. I’m _best friends_ with Superman,” James explained. “He told me all about Kara, before I ever even got to National City. And as his friend, I - I promised him that I would keep an eye on Kara – that I would protect her."

"Is that why you've always been so cold to me?" Lena asked him. "Because you thought she needed protection from me?"

"I used to think that, yeah," James confirmed. "But you have to understand. I saw firsthand what happened to Cl- Superman. He trusted Lex, he put his faith in him, and then Lex betrayed that trust. I care about Kara, Lena. I care about her a lot, and I needed to make sure that -"

"That I wouldn't hurt her," Lena nodded, "Look, I...I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I get it. The truth is, I really _do_ _understand_ , James. But I lo- I care about her, and there is literally nothing that I wouldn't give to protect her. She's my _best friend_ in the whole world."

" _They_ were best friends too, once," James breathed. "Before Lex turned on him. Before Lex tried to kill him."

"I won't ever turn on Kara. _Ever_." Lena spoke adamantly. "I swear it,  _on my life_."

"And how do you know that?" James challenged. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because, I - I," Lena appeared flustered for a moment, she stuttered over words for a moment before she managed an, "I just am, okay!?"

"Really?" James laughed, "Come on, Lena. You're going to have to do better than that. I need a real answer from you."

"James," Lena nearly growled in frustration.

"Lena," he said with a challenge to his voice.

"You really have to ask?" Lena laughed. "Come on, James, I know you're not blind. So you tell me. How can I possibly be so sure?"

"Oh," he looked nothing short of shocked as the light-bulb finally came on. " _Holy shit_. You - You're in love with her," he stuttered, as the realization settled between them.

" _I am_ ," Lena confirmed. "And I promise you that I will never let any harm come to her." James nodded wordlessly, before turning his eyes back to Kara's motionless form. Silence built between them for a long moment. They both let them feel the weight of their own feelings.

"This is my fault. I should’ve been there.” He let out a sharp breath. "She was scared and alone - and I should have been there."

“No,” Lena shook her head. “It’s mine. I – I did this. This is my fault.”

“Lena,” James spoke gently, as he turned to meet her quickly misting eyes.

“We argued,” Lena revealed. “Right before this. I said some things to her - things I wish I hadn't said. She was shutting me out, and I was hurt, so I lashed out at her. I said that she was behaving unacceptably. I thought she was blowing off work because of Mon-El, and it made me angry that she wouldn't talk to me about how she was feeling, so I pushed back. I didn’t realize – I didn’t realize she was out trying to save the city.”

“This isn’t your fault,” James told her simply. "Lena, you couldn't have known." He let out a sigh. "One thing that I've come to know about Kara is that she plays it really close to the vest. In fact, it can be really hard to get her to open up to you, even when you know all about who she is and what she does. I'm telling you, this is not your fault. Whatever you said to her - whatever you're worried she won't forgive you for? I promise you that she already has." His fingers darted back down to Kara’s neck, feeling for her pulse.

“Any change?” Lena asked, as she dropped onto her knees.

“No, she’s out,” he told her in a tremulous voice. “She won’t come to. I – I’ve never seen this happen before. Alex mentioned that Kara has been fighting this villain who has been robbing banks in the city. She’s attacking people with psychic energy. We originally thought that Kara would be immune to her effects, because Kara's physiology is different than a human’s, but we were wrong. The villain has been messing with Kara’s head, making her see things that aren’t there. I can't help but wonder if that isn't what happened, especially because there was no one else in the elevator with her."

"We don't know that for sure," Lena corrected him. "For all we know there _was_ someone else in there with her. But we should have more answers shortly, just as soon as Joel gets back with that camera footage."

"I – I have to call Alex," James informed her in a breathless voice, as he immediately started thinking about what to do next, "We need to get Kara to the DEO, in order to get her checked out.”

“The DEO?”

“Oh, that’s a whole conversation for another day,” James laughed. “I'm afraid that it would take me too long to explain everything. Right now, I’ve gotta call Alex. Stay with Kara.” James got up and rushed out of the elevator, pulling out his phone as he did so, in order to send a mayday to Kara’s sister.

“Kara?” Lena felt tears spring to her eyes as she brushed a sweat-dampened strand of hair from the blonde’s face. “Kara, hey, it’s me,” Lena couldn’t keep her own voice from shaking as she touched Kara with certain gentleness. “I’m here. Listen, it’s - It's going to be okay. We’re going to take care of you.” Kara looked undeniably pale. Her face felt clammy under Lena's touch, as the sweat on her body cooled. “I’m so sorry, Kara,” Lena told her. “I didn’t _know_. If I had - I swear that I never would have said those things to you.” Lena started buttoning up the rest of Kara’s shirt, trying to hide what was underneath. She couldn’t risk anyone else finding out. "I just - I wish you had told me what was going on," Lena's voice sounded passionate as she spoke her next words, "You could have told me. I would have understood. You _know_ I would have. I promise, you can _trust_ _me_ with this."

Lena looked up as James made a reappearance. This time, he brought someone else with him, a paramedic from the looks of it. The paramedic dropped onto his knees and unzipped his jump bag, pulling out an oxygen mask and oxygen tank. He quickly ripped open the sterile bag around the oxygen mask, before he quickly hooked it up and started the oxygen flow to the non-rebreathing mask. He plugged the one-way valve until the bag filled with oxygen, and then quickly affixed it to Kara’s face.

He reached for Kara’s shirt, but Lena stopped him.

“You’re going to need to leave that buttoned,” Lena told him, as she intercepted his hands.

“I need to get her on the monitor,” he explained. "We don't know what sort of issue we're dealing with, here. I need to check her heart."

“We’ve got other people coming for her,” Lena said. “So no EKG.”

“With all due respect, Ma’am,” he said in frustration, “You need to let me do my job.”

“Pulse-Oximetry, or nothing,” Lena offered him with a low growl. “Unless you want to deal with a lawsuit.”

“Fine,” he barked, as he pulled out the pulse oximeter and clamped it onto Kara’s finger. It started giving readout after about five seconds. “She’s extremely tachycardic,” he announced as they both saw the numbers, “She could be having a cardiac event. You really need to let me do that EKG.”

It was then that Lena hesitated. What if Kara were actually having some sort of a cardiac event, and she wasn't getting the help she needed because Lena was too afraid of someone else finding out her identity. The paramedic was right. She needed to let him do his job.

"Is there an alternative to doing a 12 lead?"

"Yes," he nodded as he whipped out a package of aluminum foil and quickly tore it open. In a flourish of efficient movements, he attached the leads to the wires, and placed them on the underside of Kara's wrists, and on the inside of Kara's ankles. "Miss?" he said as he looked at Lena.

"Hmm?" Lena looked a little bit like a deer in headlights as she made eye contact with him.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to let go of her," he told her. And Lena reluctantly pulled away.

She watched as he switched on the monitor. For a while, Lena could only see a jumbled mess of lines moving across the screen, but then those began to give way to peaks and valleys, that looked faintly like a heartbeat. However, Lena had never seen anything like it before. It certainly wasn't like a human's heartbeat. When she looked at the paramedic, he looked nothing short of alarmed.

"What?" Lena asked in panic. "What's wrong?"

"That's..." he swallowed. "I've never seen a cardiac rhythm like that before. Seriously, what in the hell is going on-" He reached towards Kara, and Lena placed herself in-between him and Kara. “What in the _hell_ is going on here? What is it you don’t want me to see?” he questioned as he met her intense green gaze.

“Why I do believe that that would be _none_ of your business,” a voice piped up from behind him, causing the paramedic to turn. Lena looked up in order to meet the eyes of a man she’d seen before. “Agent Henshaw, of the FBI,” he said in a voice that was all business, “Thank you for all of your help. We’ll take it from here.”

“She needs medical attention!” he cried out in exasperation.

“I said that we’ll take it from here,” J’onn told him in a forceful voice that left no room for arguement. The paramedic grabbed for his medical equipment, but J’onn stopped him. “We’ll be needing that! I believe this will cover anything you need to replace.” He spoke as he handed over a card.

“My bosses will be hearing about this,” he said as he got to his feet, fixed Henshaw with a withering glare, and then departed.

“Have fun with that!” J’onn called out after him, as he watched him leave.

“You!” Lena breathed as she pushed herself up to her feet.

“Ms. Luthor,” J’onn greeted her, “I wish I could say that I was surprised that you're wrapped up in this somehow, but you have a knack for finding trouble.”

“I would argue that trouble has a way of finding _me_ ,” Lena told him defensively, as she crossed her arms over her chest, “I was just trying to help.”

“She was,” James stuck up for her.

“I’m sure you were,” J’onn said as he stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the doors.

As they started closing she heard James call out, “I’ll take care of things here, Lena. I know you’ll want to be with Kara.”

“Thank you, James,” Lena called out gratefully, just in the nick of time - right before the doors sealed themselves shut with a loud clank.

J’onn subsequently hit the button for the roof, earning a confused look from Lena.

“Sir, what are you doing?” Lena asked him. “Shouldn't we be going down, and not up?!”

“I’m taking Kara to the DEO,” J’onn told Lena simply, as he lifted a lifeless Kara into his arms with little effort. “But I can’t risk taking her through the lobby, not with her like this. Her cover has already been blown, and we need to minimize the damage. I can’t risk her secret getting out to anyone else. It’s life or death, you understand?”

“I do,” Lena nodded and swallowed, her words hitching over her words, “There are a lot of people out there who would try to hurt Kara if they knew... People like Lex or my mother.”

“But you’re not going to be a problem, are you?” J’onn asked.

“I really want to pretend that you didn’t just ask me that,” Lena hissed. “Because that pretty much just pisses me off. Of course I’m not going to be a fucking problem! I _love_ her! I would protect her with my life! I'm not going to spill her secret.”

“Good answer,” J’onn nodded. “But I’m still going to need you to come into the DEO and sign a NDA, forthwith.”

“Fine. Just give me the address, and I’ll head there straight away,” Lena shot back.

J’onn let out a booming laugh. “I can see why Kara likes you,” he said honestly. He pulled out an access card, while balancing Kara against his own body with his other, and handed it to her. “This has a self-destruct chip in it, so it can only be used once. Consider it your one-time all access pass to the DEO, Ms. Luthor.”

“Are you going to fly her there? In a chopper?” Lena asked as the elevator dinged open. They quickly walked out, before walking across the hall and pushing open the doors. The sun felt warm on Lena's face as they stepped out onto the roof.

“Oh, I’m going to fly her there,” J’onn said with a knowing smile, “I’m just not going to do it with a chopper.

“Then how –“ Lena trailed off as she watched J'onn transform before her very eyes. She let out a sharp gasp, and took a step back, giving him some room. She recognized him even more now. This is the man who had come with Supergirl in order to stop her from releasing the Medusa Virus. He’d also been there when they’d rescued Lena from Lex’s lair, after she was kidnapped by her mother. “I’ll see you soon, Lena,” he announced as he shot into the air. Lena’s squinted against the bright sunlight as her eyes followed him for as long as possible. She kept watching, until he and Kara became a minuscule dot in the sky. Then she turned, in order to go back into the building. After all, she had places to be. Kara needed her.


	2. What About Us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena heads to the DEO, where she meets with Alex and Winn. Some more revelations about what happened in the elevator come to light. Alex and Kara talk. And finally - finally, Lena and Kara see each other for the first time since their fight at Catco!
> 
> My summary kind of sucks, so please just give it a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any rights for Supergirl or the DC universe! I promise that all of my content is made for recreational purposes only, and is not for profit.
> 
> Hey, guys! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post this chapter, but I've gotten distracted by my other stories. I hope that this isn't terrible, and that you guys like this one!

When she made it back inside of Catco, Lena was surprised that the elevator was still waiting for her. She stepped inside of the box, and quickly turned in order to face the side panel. Her hand hovered over its numbers momentarily as she tried to make a decision. Part of her was tempted to ride the elevator straight down to the lobby. She didn’t want to lose any time. After all, she was extremely worried about Kara, and just wanted to get to the DEO. But there were a number of obstacles in the way, preventing her from just running for it. The first of which was that she was no longer wearing her red heels. Lena groaned as she realized that she had kicked them off in her haste to get to the elevator. And so her decision was made for her. With agile fingers, Lena pressed the button for the floor below. She let out an aggravated breath, as doors slid shut, but the elevator failed to activate. She hit the button again and again in hastened frustration. Still nothing. Her brow furrowed. Then she quickly realized why it wasn’t going anywhere. J’onn must have hit the emergency stop so that the elevator couldn’t be called away. It still held most of the evidence of what had happened inside. Lena hit the big red button on the wall with her fist, placing the elevator into use again, and hit the button one final time. The elevator whirred to life, and Lena let out a relieved breath.

Between floors, Lena scrambled over to the corner, and picked up Kara’s discarded shoulder bag, slinging it over her own shoulder. It was heavier than Lena could have ever imagined. Part of her was tempted to look inside, in order to see what on earth it was that weighed so much, but she resisted. She couldn’t help but think that doing so would be a breach of Kara’s privacy. When she arrived on the floor below, Lena took the elevator out of service once more. She stepped off of the elevator as soon as the doors were open, and quickly began retracing her steps. She frowned as she came up empty. Her deep red pumps were gone. Lena’s jaw clenched, and she closed her eyes. It took a few breaths for her to calm down.

She’d worn those shoes today, because she’d wanted to impress her employees. But it was more than that. She’d found that everything that she’d chosen to wear this morning had been chosen in order to impress one employee in particular. Usually when she saw Kara, it was a small, almost inadvertent part of her day. Sometimes, they would run into each other completely on accident, and on other occasions they would simply meet for a quick meal. But today had felt different, because she knew with 100% certainty that she would be seeing Kara, and she had wanted to blow her metaphorical socks off.

 _We are searchlights, we can see in the dark_  
_We are rockets, pointed up at the stars_  
_We are billions of beautiful hearts_  
_And you sewed us down the river too far_

“Miss Luthor,” Eve Tessmacher’s voice startled her from her thoughts.

Lena spun around, in order to see Eve standing there with a triumphant and slightly smug grin on her face. And when Lena saw the items clutched in Eve’s perfectly manicured hands, Lena understood why.

“I believe these are yours,” Eve blushed as she held them out for Lena to take.

“Oh, thank you, Eve,” Lena said warmly as she rushed forwards to take them. She was aware that Eve was trying to flirt with her, but she couldn’t be bothered by it. She was too hung up on thoughts of Kara to care. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“It’s no problem,” Eve smiled as Lena carefully took them from her hands.

“Here, you need help?” Eve joked, “A shoulder to lean on?”

“Actually, that would be quite helpful, thank you,” Lena said as she placed one hand on Eve’s shoulder, balancing on one foot while she pulled her heel onto to her other. Then she swapped sides.

“Look, I –“ Eve began at the same moment that Lena started speaking.

“Eve-“ They both blushed. “Go ahead,” Lena laughed, her voice airy and free.

“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Kara earlier, and I – I just wanted to say,” Eve said in a hushed voice. “That’s not what Kara is like… at all. She’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. Honestly, Kara is like this ball of sunshine, and she does wonders for all of our morale on days that are particularly difficult. There were days when Cat was cold to me, and distant, and hurtful, but every time I got upset, Kara was there for me – as my very own shoulder to cry on. She’s so generous and compassionate, that I often wonder how she can be so kind. But that’s just who she is. She gives, and gives and gives. She’s constantly going out of her way to help other people with their work, but more than that, she’s just _so good_ at what she does.”

“Eve,” Lena’s voice felt thick as she listened to this kind stranger go on and on about Kara with such affection and admiration in her voice. She honestly didn’t understand why it was affecting her so much. But Lena can’t help but think that maybe it’s because she was putting all of the things Lena has been feeling for so long into words.

 _What about us?_  
_What about all the times you said you had the answers?_  
_What about us?_  
_What about all the broken happy ever afters?_  
_What about us?_  
_What about all the plans that ended in disaster?_  
_What about love? What about trust?_  
_What about us?_

“She’s been going through some stuff lately,” Eve continued, “And now, I think the rest of the staff and I are all of the same mind. We’re just trying to help her through it. I figure the least we can do is carry Kara in the way that she’s carried us these last couple of years. I know you were disappointed with the way she acted, so I just wanted you to know that there’s a lot more going on than what meets the eye. She’s under a tremendous amount of stress and pressure right now. I think you know. I mean…I got the sense that you were friends, but I – I guess what I’m saying is... Please don’t think ill of her.”

“I don’t,” Lena promised. “The truth is, I don’t think I could ever think ill of her. You’re right. Kara’s one of the most beautiful and compassionate souls that I’ve ever met. It’s just hard when she’s shutting me out like she was before.

“I can promise you that there’s probably a good reason for that,” Eve assured her.

“You’re probably right about that,” Lena nodded.

“Now that you’re our boss, I feel like there are a few things that you should know. There are going to be some things that you might see the rest of us ignore, or maybe even try to help cover up for Kara, but it’s because we all feel that it’s our way of giving back to the greatest hero this city has ever seen.”

“Wait,” Lena swallowed, breathing in disbelief, “You know? You've known this whole time?”

“Please,” Eve laughed, “We’ve had to completely renovate this floor on three separate occasions in the last year, because Kara’s other job has a way of following her here. But Cat and James have made it clear that we’re to protect her secret at all costs. Kara needs a normal life away from her other life, so as far as any of us can tell, that’s the best gift that we could possibly ever give her.”

“So you just pretend that you don’t know,” Lena spoke flatly. “You let her think that she has you all fooled,”

“Well, when you put it that way –“ Eve trailed off as she laughed. “Yes, _yes we do_. After all, you can only ignore _so many_ broken phones and computer monitors, before you start to realize that there is something fishy going on.”

"So you're telling me that it might be a good idea for me to invest in some computer stock?" Lena joked. Eve didn't seem to pick up on it, though, because she answered with a straightforward answer.

"Come to think of it," Eve replied, "That would probably be a good idea for you. Yes."

“I'll consider it then,” Lena found herself blushing suddenly. She made a mental note to take a look at the expense reports from the last year. She had a feeling that she'd be seeing a lot of expenses from the IT department. She felt almost awkward as she said, “Well, I’ve really got to run. I’ve got to go check on Kara, actually. But I appreciate you telling me all of this, Eve. She is lucky to have a friend like you.”

A couple of minutes later, Lena jogged as fast as her heels would allow towards the main doors of Catco’s building. Her heels clacked against the floor as she half-walked, half-jogged across its beautiful marbled surface. She was almost to the door, when she heard a breathless shout from behind her.

“Miss Luthor!” the masculine voice of the head of security had her whirling around. She watched as Joel ran towards her with a small envelope clutched in his hands. “Miss Luthor, I’m glad I caught you,” he said as he came to a stop right in front of her. “For you,” he spoke as he held out the envelope. “It’s the footage from the elevator’s camera. I thought you might like to take it with you.”

“Oh, thank you,” Lena burst out gratefully, as she took it from him. “Thank you, Joel. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem, Ma’am,” he nodded, “Anything to help a friend. It - It will help her, right?”

“Yes,” Lena nodded, “Yes, it will.”

“Good,” he breathed out. Lena nearly laughed as he planted his hands on his hips and hunched over just a little, still trying to catch his breath. “I’m sorry it took me so long. But I wanted to make sure to wipe the footage afterwards.”

“That’s okay,” Lena told him, with a warm smile. “You caught me just in the nick of time.”

“It’s all on a flash drive, so all you’ve got to do is plug it in, and the files should come up,” he explained.

“Did you watch it?” Lena found herself asking.

“Just long enough to verify it was the right footage,” Joel admitted, “But I didn’t watch all of it.”

“Right, well, thank you,” Lena spoke as she shoved the envelope into the pocket of Kara’s bag. “I should get going.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Luthor,” he smiled. “Good luck on your endeavors.”

“Thanks,” Lena smiled, “I’ll see you later, Joel.”

With that, Lena turned and pushed her way out front. Just outside, Lena adjusted skirt of her dress, and rushed over towards the town car that was waiting for her. Lena’s heart was pounding heavily, drowning out the sound of anything else. She slid into the backseat, and quickly realized that she had no idea where she was going. J’onn had given her a keycard to grant her access into the DEO, but he’d never actually told her where its headquarters were located.

“Where are we headed?” the driver asked her. Lena let out a sharp breath.

“Uh, just a moment, Phillip,” Lena requested as she fished out her keycard and fiddled with it. It was made out a durable material, with LED’s inlaid into its surface.

“It can’t be,” Lena breathed, as she pressed her thumb into an oval slot on its back surface. “That’s too simple.” Lena let out a yelp and dropped the keycard, as a miniaturized map of the city sprang up in the air in front of her. She tentatively reached out to touch it. And when she touched it, the hologram adapted itself to match her actions. Lena swallowed. This was a handheld technology unlike anything she’d ever seen before. Lena interacted with the map for a few moments, before she figured out where the DEO was.

Lena gave her driver the address, and picked up the keycard from the floor of the town car. She examined it, turning it over and over in her hands. She quickly put it away, and looked out the window as she waited. The waiting was easily the hardest thing about the ride over. She felt completely helpless. She had no idea how Kara was doing, or whether things would be okay between them. Lena had no idea how Kara would react. Would Kara be angry that her secret had been uncovered? Or would she be happy that she no longer had to keep up with her massive charade?

As soon as the town car came to a stop outside of the front doors of the DEO, Lena pushed open the door, and scrambled out of backseat. Her driver let out a sound of protest as she told him she would call him later, and then rushed for the front doors. She pushed her way inside, and her jaw fell open as she took in the main lobby. It very much looked like a federal building, but she knew that the DEO was likely a black-ops division of the military masquerading as a Governmental Organization.

“Miss?” a man dressed in all black combat fatigues greeted her at the moment she walked in, “Miss Luthor, I take it? Director J'onzz told me to expect you.”

“Yes, hi,” Lena didn’t know why, but she held out a hand. He gave her a curious look, chuckled, and then gave it a shake.

“I’m here to escort you to the elevator,” he smiled, “My name is Steve – Steve Harrington. Please, if you would be so kind as to follow me?” Lena nodded and followed in his wake. He led her across the lobby and into the elevator. When they were inside, he held out his hand. Lena produced her keycard and handed it to him, sensing exactly what it was that he wanted. He slid it into the slot by the door, and the elevator whirred to life on its own. Steve didn’t even have to press a button.

“The card has a subroutine written into its coding that gives the computer instructions,” Steve said casually, as if Lena didn’t already know that. She nearly laughed as he realized he was mansplaining things to her. If only he knew that her IQ far surpassed his own.

“I noticed the sophistication of that earlier,” Lena smiled, her bright green eyes were practically shinning, “And I can tell you one thing. Whoever you’ve got working on technology, I want working for my company,” Lena laughed. “Because L-Corp could definitely use employees with that level of ingenuity. Suffice it to say, they would be a fine addition to an already flourishing brain trust. Do you think Director J’onzz would take kindly to me stealing a few of his employees?”

“It’s doubtful,” Steve told her, before chuckling himself. “In fact, I wouldn’t let him hear you joke about that, if I were you.”

“So he doesn’t have much of a sense of humor, then,” Lena pursed her lips thoughtfully, “I guess that’s good to know.”

“He’s one of the toughest men that you’ll ever meet, but he’s fair,” Steve told her. “He’s extremely protective of those he cares about. And it’s hard to earn his trust, but once you do? You’ve got a lifelong friend. Just remember that.” Lena nodded. She started as the doors peeled open, in order to reveal Alex waiting there for her. Alex Danvers was standing at a tension, and Lena found her posture intimidating. Lena silently wondered if Alex was trying to intimidate her.

“Lena,” Alex greeted with a subtle nod of her head. “I’ll take it from here, Steve, thanks.” Lena stepped off of the elevator, and into a larger, high-ceilinged room.

“Alex,” Lena breathed in surprise, as she fiddled with the strap of Kara’s bag. She was nervous about talking to Alex, with no secrets or pretenses in the way. Alex turned and started leading the way into the massive room. “You - You work for the DEO?”

“What is it that gave it away?” Alex teased.

“I thought you worked for the FBI,” Lena swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat.

“It’s a cover,” Alex told her, with a roll of her eyes. “Obviously I can’t tell people who I really work for. But yeah, I work for the DEO.”

“Perhaps you would be so kind as to tell me. What exactly is the DEO?” Lena asked, as she swallowed uneasily, “No one has been willing to tell me. I - I think I’ve already got it pretty much figured out, but I’m not sure. I mean, it’s like a black-ops division of the military right?”

“The DEO,” Alex spoke as she turned back around and started walking backwards, “Is known as the Department of Extra-normal Operations. We specialize in all things extra-terrestrial. So we deal with aliens, meta-humans, and the like.”

“Meta-humans?” Lena questioned.

“Oh, god,” Alex laughed, her eyes flashing brightly, “For someone who is so smart, I forget that you know _so_ _little_ about this sort of stuff.” Alex cleared her throat. “Meta-humans are powered individuals from other parts of the multi-verse, mainly from Earth-1. Their powers are derived primarily from Dark matter.”

“Wait a minute,” Lena sputtered, “The multi-verse is real? I mean, it’s not just a theory? There are literally _other_ dimensions...”

“Oh, the things you don’t know, Lena,” Alex laughed, “Oh, the things you don’t know. In answer to your question, yes, the multiverse is real. So far, we’ve discovered 52 known Earths in the multiverse, each one as complex and unique as the last. Just ask Kara, she’s been to a few of them.”

“What?” Lena was suddenly pretty sure her eyes had grown three sizes in the span of a few seconds. They flashed bright green, and for a moment, they faintly reminded Alex of Kryptonite. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied ruefully, “Seriously. She has good friends on Earth-1. We’ve just been invited to a wedding there, actually, though I’m not sure it would be a smart idea for her to go there.”

“Wait, if this other Earth that you're talking about is Earth-1,” Lena questioned, “Then what Earth are _we_ living on?”

“Earth-38,” Alex answered, and Lena’s brow arched in surprise. “It kind of makes your head spin, right?”

"I'll say," Lena breathed. She was still trying to wrap her brain around all of it somehow. She suddenly felt like had a lot of catching up to do.

“Now,” Alex cleared her throat, and placed her hands on her hips in a gesture of impatience, “If you don’t mind, we should probably get on with our tour.” Lena started following Alex towards a massive, circular table at the far end of the room. To Lena, it looked like a CIC, where missions were planned and executed.

“Now this! This is where the magic happens,” Alex joked, as she started walking around the table. “This is where we run most of our Operations from,” Alex told her as she, reached out and ran her fingers over its surface. “This table here has got a fully interactive holographic display. And Winn over there, can share any information from those computers with us in real time. Together, we relay any and all information to Kara over Comms.”

“So, I’m a little confused,” Lena spoke softly, as her brows knit together in confusion. “Does Supergirl work _for_ you or _with_ you?” she questioned.

“It’s a partnership,” Alex replied. “Kara’s relationship with the DEO is a lot like Kara’s relationship with me. We hold each other accountable. We bring out the best in one another. The same is true for the relationship between Kara and the DEO.”

“And it doesn’t create any problems?” Lena asked in curiosity.

“Oh it does,” a voice piped up from over by the computers. Lena had to suppress a laugh as she caught sight of the glare that Alex sent him in response.

“As much as I want to say otherwise, he’s right,” Alex pointed a thumb in Winn’s direction. “The truth is, they, _we_ , butted heads a lot in the beginning. But things are a lot better now.” There’s a peculiar look in Alex’s eyes as she meets Lena’s gaze. “The truth is, it’s still kind of hard sometimes. Kara can be a little too cavalier – a little too reckless when she’s out there, and she doesn’t always listen to the advice we’re giving her.” Alex shook her head, “Then again, I’ve been known to have a hot head of my own, in times of duress.”

“How is she?” Lena asked, as she looked towards where Winn was seated.

On the Computers at the front of the room, Lena could see things happening in real time all over the city. Lena’s eyes roved over every monitor, hungrily drinking in all of the details.

“Actually, Winn,” Alex spoke as she strode over towards where he was sitting. “That’s a good question. How is she? What did the tests show? Did you find anything conclusive?”

“Oh, man. Don’t shoot the messenger, okay?” Winn said as he stood up and walked towards Alex. “But I couldn’t find anything wrong. Nothing suspicious showed up in any of the tests that I did, apart from what we already knew. There was no increase in the production centers of the brain like there was the first time when Psi attacked her. However, there was a slight imbalance of Hydrogen Carbonate ions in Kara’s blood. That leaves me with one possible conclusion.”

“And that is?” Alex huffed, though she already knew exactly where he was going with it. After all, she had a background in medicine and Alien physiology.

“Kara had a good old-fashioned panic attack,” Winn said as he handed the tablet to Alex. Alex quickly looked over the information and handed it back to Winn.

“I believe you, Winn. But I still think it would helpful if we knew _exactly_ what went on in that elevator,” Alex told him.

“I told you,” Winn told her with a hint of frustration, “I tried pulling the footage from Catco, but somebody already pulled it and wiped it from the back-up mainframe before I could get my hands on it.”

“That’s because I had them pull it,” Lena spoke up, as she pulled the envelope from her bag and handed it to him. “And if I had been thinking, I would have given it to you already. Sorry, Winn.”

“Oh, thanks, Lena!” Winn squeaked as he took it from her. She watched as he pulled the flash drive from the envelope and rushed over to the computer. She and Alex followed close on his heels, rushing over the monitor in front of him. He plugged in the drive and spent several moments frantically typing at the keyboard before the video began to play on screen. They all watched as Kara stepped into the elevator, and pulled out her phone. She had a brief conversation on her phone, dropped said phone into her bag, and tore open her shirt, all before the doors even started to close. Lena watched without breathing as the next seconds played out on the screen. She watched Kara stumble sideways into the wall. Her arms reaching out as she seemingly battled something that couldn’t be seen.

“Is there sound?” Lena asked. Winn typed at a few keys, and then sound played through the speakers.

“What is that?” Lena’s brow furrowed as she heard Kara speak the same phrase over and over again, in a harsh, foreign tongue. The problem was, it was all in a language that Lena didn’t understand.

“That’s Kryptonese,” Winn burst out excitedly. “Here, let me translate it.” Winn began typing, trying to pull up the program he'd designed to translate Kryptonese. However, Alex beat him to the punch.

“There’s no need,” Alex swallowed, “I know what she’s saying.”

“How?” Lena asked. "You speak Kryptonese?"

"Not quite," Alex chuckled, "It's a hard language to learn. But over the years, I've been able to pick up bits and pieces." Lena nodded.

“Kara used to talk in her sleep after she came to Earth,” Alex spoke as she closed her eyes, and raked in a sharp breath. “She had nightmares, and sometimes she would wake up screaming.” Alex’s eyes sprang open. “I recognize those words. She’s begging with someone. She's pleading to be set free. Her exact words are, ‘Please let me out of here.’”

“She looks scared out of her mind,” Lena spoke. "God she sounds terrified." Lena's voice cracked as she felt tears spring unbidden to her eyes. She couldn’t bear to see Kara like this anymore, and turned away from the monitor, lifting a hand to her mouth.

“She just said she was sorry,” Alex said as her ears caught onto something else. “Lena, why is she sorry?” Lena spun back around. Her throat suddenly felt like it was going to close up on her. And her heart was seemingly racing, as she met Alex's inquisitive stare.

“What?” Lena spoke in a tremulous breath.

“She was apologizing to you for something,” Alex explained. “Winn, rewind it a few seconds. More. A little more. Okay, there. Play it.” Alex was right. Kara spoke several words in Kryptonese, and then Lena could very clearly make out Kara saying her name. Before Lena had so much as a second to contemplate this. Kara screamed, an anguished and pain-filled sound. Lena flinched. It felt like being punched in the gut. She can't bear the sound of pain behind Kara's screams.

"Stop. Stop the footage," Lena ordered Winn, breathlessly. "Please. I _can't_. I can't listen to her scream any longer. It's killing me." Winn quickly hit a button and the video mercifully stopped.

"Lena?" Alex's voice was soft as she sensed how upset Lena was.

“She – I,” Lena began struggling for words. She knew that she owed Alex some sort of an explanation. “We had a fight right before this. She was hostile, and cold, and I made it worse by trying to bring up Mon-El. I was trying to help, but instead I only made things worse. I…I just didn’t understand why she was so upset.” Lena sighed, and reached up to the back of her neck with her hand, kneading the muscles there, as she got caught up in her feelings of guilt. Lena attempted to shake herself out of it. “I didn’t know what she was going through, Alex. I ripped into her. I said that she was behaving unacceptably for an employee, and I was just so _cold_. I feel like I'm responsible for this somehow, and I just can't - I can't watch her fall apart like this anymore. It _hurts_ to see her like this.“

 _We are problems that want to be solved_  
_We are children that need to be loved_  
_We were willing, we came when you called_  
_But man you fooled us, enough is enough_

“Hey,” Alex’s voice softened as she reached out a hand to squeeze Lena’s arm. “It’s okay, Lena. The fact is, you couldn’t have known.” Alex shook her head, “The only way that you could have known, is if Kara had told you what was going on. But Kara hasn’t told any of us what is going on in her head.”

“Actually,” Winn looked a little afraid, as he realized he had just spoken up and both women’s eyes were now on him. “She might’ve mentioned something to me in passing.”

"What?" Alex voice enough was sharp enough to cut. Winn flinched.

“Winn,” Alex’s voice held a hint of a threat to it, as her chocolate brown eyes became fixated on his face. Lena suddenly realized how intimidating the eldest Danvers could be as she slowly and intently encroached on Winn, stepping into his personal space with a look of fire blazing in her dark brown eyes.

“Alex,” Winn’s voice held a small quaver to it, as he tried to stand up from his chair. But Alex wasn't having any of it. She merely pushed him down into it again. “Hey, buddy,” Winn spoke in a meek voice. He was trying to remind Alex that she liked him on any given day. But today was clearly not that day, judging by the look that was currently present in Alex’s eyes. “Look, it’s not a big deal, okay? I would have told you, but she made me promise to keep it to myself.“

“Winn,” Alex practically growled, “I think you had best tell me everything you know. Right. _Now_.”

“But-“

“Winn, do you want to live to see tomorrow?” Lena questioned, “Because if so, I would highly recommend that you tell Alex and I what it is that you know. Alex looks like she's about to kill you, and I, for one, don't want to become a witness to murder.”

"Okay, okay," Winn relented. He sounded somewhat breathless as he threw up his hands. "I'll tell you. But you have to promise not to shoot me."

"Fine," Alex bit out through gritted teeth.

“Kara sort of lied about what Psi was making her see when she attacked her,” Winn blurted out in a way that took them by surprise. "She wasn't seeing the walls close in on her. It wasn't claustrophobia. It was... It was something _else_ entirely."

"Go on," Lena encouraged him.

“She told me that Psi was targeting the fear centers of people’s brains, and when I asked her how it was that she knew that, she told me that – that umm…” Winn cleared his throat. “She said that she knew, because Psi deliberately chose memories that she knew would make Kara afraid. She took Kara back to her last moments on Krypton. And not only that, but she made Kara remember what it felt like when she was in her pod. Kara - She saw Krypton explode, and she’s been living through the emotional trauma that comes with that over and over again.” Lena sucked in a sharp breath, just as Alex let out a long one.

“And you seriously thought it was a good idea to keep this bit of information to yourself?” Alex was livid now. “She’s my sister, Winn! Do you have  _any_ idea what that would be like? To live through the death of your planet not once, but twice?”

“I’m sorry,” Winn apologized. “I was just trying to respect Kara’s wishes. I didn’t mean to-“

“You should have told me,” Alex hissed. “You have no clue, Winn! She was in that pod for months – _years_ , wondering if she was ever going to see another living soul. And you let her carry that around with her, let her _lie_ about it, while you sat by and did _nothing_. God, I don’t even know how to look at you right now.” With that, Alex stormed off, leaving an anxious Lena and a defeated Winn in her wake.

“I should… I should make sure she’s okay,” Lena whispered. Winn nodded, though he looked as if he were in a bit of a daze. "Look, I know that was difficult," Lena spoke as she gave his shoulder a faint but comforting squeeze, "but you did the right thing by telling us Winn. Some secrets just aren't meant to be kept. And Kara will forgive you for telling us...eventually." 

"Yeah," he swallowed, as he stared at the frozen image of Kara on his computer screen. 

"Hang in there, bud," Lena encouraged him. "It's all going to turn out okay. You'll see."

"Do you really consider us to be friends?" he asked as he turned and met her eyes.

"Of course," Lena smiled. "Any friend of Kara's is a friend of mine. You know, I never _did_ thank you for helping me that night at my gala, so thank you."

"You're welcome, Lena," Winn smiled. 

"I don't mean to be rude," Lena spoke quietly, "But I really _should_ check on Alex. Someone has to make sure she doesn't go off the deep end."

"Yeah," he smiled. "You probably should. Thanks for taking a moment to make sure I was okay."

"Anytime," Lena told him, before she rushed off in the direction Alex had gone.

 _What about us?_  
_What about all the times you said you had the answers?_  
_What about us?_  
_What about all the broken happy ever afters?_  
_What about us?_  
_What about all the plans that ended in disaster?_  
_What about love? What about trust?_  
_What about us?_

It took her a few minutes to locate the elder Danvers, but eventually Lena did. She was slightly breathless when she finally found Alex in Kara’s room. The problem was, Kara was nowhere to be found. The nasal cannula, the wires, and the I.V. tubing were all laying on the table’s surface, but Kara was gone. Alex let out a growl, as she switched off the sunlamps. “Where is she?” Alex questioned as she reached up to the back of her head with both hands. Her elbows struck straight out, and Lena could hear Alex’s deep, heaving breaths as she struggled to calm herself. “Damn it, Kara.” Alex was still completely unaware of Lena’s presence, so Lena decided to speak up.

“Is there a place she likes to go to unwind?” Lena asked, startling Alex. “A place she likes to go to think?”

“Actually, yeah,” Alex nodded, “I think I might know where she is. Follow me.” Lena followed Alex to another room, with a metal door and a panel set into the wall. Alex pressed her palm to it, and the door clicked open. “Now, you’re welcome to come in, but I would ask you to give me a minute to talk to Kara, before you intervene.”

“Of course,” Lena told her, “Anything you need, Alex.” Lena followed Alex in, hanging by the door. Lena swallowed as she laid eyes on Kara for the first time since J’onn had left her on Catco’s roof. Kara was sitting cross-legged in the center of the room, sitting with her eyes closed. Several candles were lit in front of her. And Lena could see their light flickering across the side of Kara’s face. The lights and shadows played across Kara's face in rapid succession, quickly enough that it was hard to make out the shapes playing across the planes of her cheeks and forehead. This drew Lena's eyes to every contour. Lena swallowed. She felt her throat grow dry. Kara looked so beautiful like this, and Lena felt the stirrings of something in her chest. It was almost unfair. How did Lena possibly have a chance of resisting her when Kara was so beautiful?

 _Focus, Lena_ , Lena gave herself a miniature pep-talk, shaking herself from her thoughts. _That's really not important right now. Kara needs your help._

Fortunately, Kara remained oblivious to her presence. She hadn't moved so much as a single inch, since they'd walked in.

Kara was speaking Kryptonese, in a low, quiet, and calmed voice. Alex’s brow furrowed as she hesitantly stepped closer. It looked as if she were just as uneasy about invading Kara's sanctuary, as Lena was.

Lena stood stock still on the edge of the room. She was afraid to move, afraid to think. She held her breath as she heard Kara's words falter. Kara's eyelids flickered open, her eye lashes fluttering as she detected Alex's presence for the first time. Lena had no way of knowing if Kara detected her presence too.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked with a gentle inflection of her voice. Her voice was soft, controlled. It was a sharp contrast to how Alex had sounded just a minute ago.

“Kryptonian meditation,” Kara answered her as she reached up, and tucked a strand behind her ear. “Where we say an ancient mantra to strengthen the mind.”

“Hmm,” Alex hummed thoughtfully, before she lowered herself to the floor a couple feet away from Kara. “I’ve never seen you do that before.”

“That’s because I’ve never felt like I needed it,” Kara told her honestly, with a weighted breath. Lena watched as Kara's eyes fluttered closed. It looked as if Kara were honing in on something in the distance. She wondered what it must be like to hear _everything -_ to _feel_ everything. It's a wonder that anyone could stay sane under those circumstances.

Alex let the silence build between them for a long moment, before she finally said, “Winn is still working on the psychic dampening technology. But we should have something that we can use to contain her s _oon_.”

“Mmm,” Kara cleared her throat uneasily, and Lena watched as Kara shifted from her previous stance, instead assuming a more casual one. This was a good sign. Kara's body language was relaxed, signaling that she was receptive to Alex and what her elder sister was about to say.

“So... we had a nice chat,” Alex said conversationally, as if her conversation with Winn had been a pleasant thing, and not an argument full of hostility and contention. Lena had to suppress a chuckle at that.

“Did you?” Kara asked, as she met Alex’s eyes. She let out a sigh as she found something in Alex's eyes that she didn't like. “He told you, didn’t he?” Kara asked, with a tinge of anger and betrayal in her voice.

“Well, he’s not exactly good at keeping secrets,” Alex protested. Lena watched as Kara got to her feet and began pacing. By some miracle, Kara hadn’t noticed Lena’s presence yet.

“He shouldn’t have done that,” Kara spoke in frustration, as she threw up her hands.

“Well, we used to talk to each other about this kind of stuff,” Alex pointed out, and Lena sensed that Alex desperately missed playing that role in Kara’s life. Lena had not been alone in her struggles to get Kara to let her in, it seemed. She suddenly had a new appreciation for what it was like to be in Kara’s life. “Why didn’t you tell me that you saw Krypton – that you were having panic attacks?”

"How could I?" Kara questioned. "The truth is, I didn’t know _how_."

"Kara," Alex sighed, "You have to stop doing this. You have to stop shutting me out. _Please_."

"I didn't mean to keep it from you. I just - I didn't want you to worry,” Kara sighed, as she reached up to run a hand over her face.

“You fight the most dangerous and evil people on the planet,” Alex argued, as she made a gesture, “So I’m kind of _always_ going to worry.”

“That's just it! I don’t know  _how_ to fight this one, Alex,” Kara said as she whirled around to face Alex. “And I should be able to stop her, but then she makes her way into my mind,” Kara said as she lifted up a couple of fingers to her right temple, “And she forces me to relive the scariest moment of my life.” Lena felt her heart clench as Kara sank down in front of Alex. She could see the lost look in Kara’s eyes and she wanted desperately to help Kara find herself again. She wanted desperately for Kara to know that she wasn’t in this alone. Not anymore. “It’s –“ Kara struggled for words as she lifted a palm to her forehead and shook her head, closing her eyes, “It’s torture.” Lena watched as Kara came out of it. Her eyes opening, as her hand fell away, “How am I supposed to deal with that?”

“Well,” Alex told her as she moved a smidge closer to Kara, “By remembering that your fears don’t define you.” Alex paused. “You know, who you are as Supergirl – who you are as Kara, that’s what defines you. And she’s got nothing on that.”

“No,” Kara sighed, “Cause who I am as Kara, feels broken.” Lena felt her own throat tighten, as she listened to Kara sniffle, “I lost Mon-El. And Lena keeps asking me where I am going, which is both new and _horrible_.” Kara admitted in a tremulous voice, and Lena felt a spike of pain surge through her chest. "I'm going to - I'm going to _lose_ her. I just know it." Lena feels pain in a way she's never quite felt it before, at the way that Kara's voice breaks on the word _lose_. 

"Kara," Alex breathed, "Don't be ridiculous. You're not going to lose her."

"I _am,_ " Kara nearly sobbed the words, and it took everything in Lena to resist running to her and wrapping her arms around Kara. She wants to wrap Kara up in her arms and never let go. "I have lost _everything_ , Alex - e _very one_ that I have ever loved; I lost my parents, Jeremiah, Astra, Mon-El. They're all _dead_ because they loved me."

"Kara-" Alex's voice took on a whole new weight to it as Kara gave voice to thoughts she'd never spoken aloud. "Don't be absurd. What happened to them isn't your fault! It's the choices they made, and the things that they did, that resulted in their deaths. It's not through any fault of yours."

"But it is!" Kara can't help but shout, and Lena visibly flinched. "I never really made the connection before now, but it's... true. I swear I don't mean to - I never meant to, but everything I touch tends to turn to dust... it just - it crumbles in my hands."

"No," Alex shook her head. "No, Kar. Just _no_."

"Dad would still be here, if it weren't for me," Kara argued. "Come on, Alex. Don't tell me that you haven't thought it, because I know you have."

"You're right. But Kara? The girl that thought those things, was a young teenaged girl who didn't understand anything about the world, or how things worked," Alex shot back. "She blamed you for the things that were wrong in her own life, but that doesn't mean that it was ever really _your_ fault."

"You hated me," Kara's voice broke. "You _did_."

"Then thank god I came to my senses," Alex said as tears thickened her voice, "Thank god I had a sister as amazing as you are. And thank god you could forgive me for the things I'd said to you. Because I - I love you, Kara. I love you and I would not be half the person I am without you in my life." Kara couldn't do anything more than shake her head. She took a step backward.

"It doesn't change the truth," Kara whispered. "Maybe the Luthors have been right all along. Maybe people _like me_ have no place in this world. We destroy all we touch, good intentions or no."

"Kar-"

"I _can't_ ," Kara cut her sister off, before Alex could give voice to what she had been about to say. "I can't forgive myself for what happened to him, Alex."

"You saved him," Alex argued.

"By condemning him to his own personal  _hell_ ," Kara's voice cracked. "A hell that I see _every time_ I close my eyes. You... You don't know what it's like! You can't fathom the silence, Alex, years and years of _silence. Decades_ filled with infinite expanses of _nothing_. No life. No death. Just _emptiness_. So please! Don't pretend like you can possibly understand what it's like. Don't pretend that you know what it's like." Lena suddenly can't breathe. She can't help but imagine, for a moment, what that would be like. She mentally tries to place herself into the hell that Kara just described, and she feels herself shut down as a result.

"You're right," Alex exhaled finally. "You're right, Kara. I can't even imagine what that would be like. But you can't just push everyone away because you're afraid," Alex protested.

"You don't understand," Kara spoke determinedly, "It's what I have to do to protect them, Alex."

"Who?" Alex can't help but look a little confused. "Who's them?"

"You!" Kara burst out. "All of you! You, Eliza, J'onn, Winn, James, Lena-"

"You keep bringing up Lena," Alex interrupted Kara. "What does she have to do with this? Why are you so afraid?" Alex questioned, as she met Lena's eyes over Kara's shoulder. For a moment, Lena could do nothing but stare back. But then Kara answered.

"Because, by far, I have loved _her_ the most," Kara choked on the words, as if they were traitorous and dangerous. Lena can't help but suck in a sharp breath at that admission, one that she was sure had never been meant for her ears. But it did something to her. It changed things, irrevocably. "To lose her now, would be the end of everything. It would destroy what little is left of me...damage me beyond _repair_. I honestly don't think that my heart could take it." Lena can't help but wonder how this is possible. Kara had lost her planet, her parents, everything that she had _ever known_. How is it that the loss of someone inconsequential could be the thing to break her? Was she really worth that much to Kara?

"Kara-" Alex attempted to stop any further admissions from her sister, but was unsuccessful.

“I - I _can’t do this_. I can't stand lying to her, Alex. Because it’s wrong, and it's - It’s not _fair_ to her. She _doesn’t deserve_ that. I’m supposed to be her friend, I'm supposed to be the one good thing in her life, but I can’t – I can’t tell her about where I am going, or what I'm feeling. And, _Rao_ , when she finds out the truth, when she finds out I've been lying to her this whole time, she’s going to hate me. It's _killing_ me to keep this from her.” Kara let out a tremulous breath. Lena opened her mouth to speak up, to tell Kara that she doesn’t hate her, and never will - in fact, but then Kara starts speaking again, and Lena has to bite her tongue. “Alex, I’m trying to be myself again, but everything that used to make me feel good – like a relief – has disappeared. It’s just _gone_." 

“It’s not always going to feel like that, I promise,” Alex told her reassuringly.

"How do you know that?" Kara can't help but question. "Because I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I lay in bed at night and I wonder how on earth it is I got to this point. I feel like I can't do anything right. _Rao,_   _what is - what is happening to me, Alex?_ ” Lena can't help but feel helpless, as she watches Kara's breaths grow frantic. 

"Kara," Alex voice is gentle but stern, "Kara, hey, easy. Just breathe....breathe with me, okay? Remember what I showed you back when you first got here?" Alex carefully demonstrated her breathing technique, lifting her arm and lowering it, as she tried to get Kara to match her breaths. It took a while, but eventually, Kara seemed to respond. Her breathing grew quieter.

"She's taking everything," Kara whispered.

"Who?" Alex looked momentarily confused. They'd gotten so far off track that she'd almost forgotten what they had been talking about.

"Psi," Kara exhaled. "She's taking it from me." Alex gave Kara a chance to elaborate.

“My life as Supergirl is the one thing I can count on,” Kara breathed. “I can go out there and help people. I can make a difference in the world. I can feel strong, even though a _huge_ part of me feels _so weak_. And she’s taking that away from me.” Kara looked almost devastated as she said, “If I don’t have that, what do I have?” Lena smiled as Alex pretended to think about it for a moment, before she spoke up.

“Well,” Alex told her seriously, “You've got _me_.” Lena watched as a smile tugged at Kara’s lips for a moment.

“Well, I know that, silly,” Kara told her. Lena watched, with a smile playing on her own lips, as Alex bean-hopped the last foot or so forwards and wrapped her arms around Kara. Kara buried her face into Alex’s hair and closed her eyes. Lena looked on with warmth blossoming in her chest. One day, she'd love to have a sister like Alex. Lena let them hug it out for a moment, before she finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry to break up this beautiful moment, but for what it’s worth? You’ve got me, too,” Lena spoke up. Causing Kara to startle a bit. Kara neck suddenly turned towards the sound of Lena's voice, her gaze slamming into Lena’s own.

“Lena,” Kara sputtered, “What? You – You’re… Oh my Rao. What are you doing here?” Kara quickly pulled away from Alex in alarm.

“She and James found you in the elevator,” Alex told her. “She came to make sure you were alright.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me this before?” Kara asked, as she jumped up.

“It wasn’t exactly a good time,” Alex explained, as she too got to her feet.

"Still, you could have at least warned me before I rambled on about-" Kara argued.

"Kara," Alex stopped Kara's protest by grabbing Kara by the shoulders. "Hey! Just try and calm down for a minute, okay? I know it feels like it, but this isn't the end of the world. Trust me on this." Kara nodded.

“Look, you guys really need to talk. I’ll umm… I’ll give you two a minute alone," Alex cleared her throat, before she released her hold on Kara's shoulders. "It sounds like you’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“Wait! But I don’t even know what to say,” Kara floundered, as Alex pulled away. And Lena could see that Kara was panicking.

“Well, here's an idea," Alex chuckled. "How about you start with the truth?” Alex told her as she made eye contact with Kara. “Just be honest, Kara. It’ll be _fine_. Besides, she’s already figured out most of it, anyway.” Lena gave Alex an appreciative smile, as the elder Danvers gave her shoulder a gentle, reassuring squeeze on her way out of the room. The loud clank of the door shutting behind her, sounded deafening to Lena's ears as it left her and Kara alone in the room. Lena swallowed as she felt Kara’s eyes bore into her own for several long moments. Those few seconds seemed to stretch out before them, seemingly warping and twisting time, in order to make it fit into their small universe. For some reason, it felt like they were both seeing each other for the very first time, and Lena reckoned that it's because they _were_ seeing each other for the first time. There were no longer any secrets or pretenses in the way. 

Now that she had a chance to dwell on it all, it was ridiculous. Lena had fallen deeply in love with a Super, without knowing it. And now it was too late to turn back. Oh hell, who was she kidding? She didn't want to go back. She was in love with Kara, and would be until the day she drew her last breath. And if she was lucky, Kara felt the same.

 _A Luthor in love with a Super,_ Lena mused. Lena couldn't help but think that Lex would have a coronary if he ever found out.

 _Sticks and stones they may break these bones_  
_But then I'll be ready, are you ready?_  
_It's the start of us, waking up, come on_  
_Are you ready? I'll be ready_  
_I don't want control, I want to let go_  
_Are you ready? I'll be ready_  
_Cause now it's time to let them know_  
_We are ready_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for now! Please take a moment to leave a like or a comment, if you have the time. 
> 
> I promise that I'll try to have the next chapter up sometime in the near future. I haven't decided if there's going to be three or four chapters, yet. I guess it kind of depends if I can fit everything in that I want to in the next chapter or not. However, I can promise you that Lena and Kara will finally be doing some serious talking in the next chapter. You'll have to stick around to see what happens!
> 
> As always, thanks so much for reading! You guys are awesome! I love you all.
> 
> P.S. If you like what you read, please feel free to check out my other stories! :)


	3. Words Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena have that long awaited conversation, and maybe (just maybe) figure out some important things along the way. 
> 
> Or
> 
> Some talking, kissing, and some sexy times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I am so so sorry that it's taken me so long to update this story, but life has been absolutely crazy as of late. I've been working 70-80 hours a week, which as you might of guessed, doesn't leave much time for much else. I've thought about writing this update many times, but unfortunately I've just been too exhausted to make myself sit down and do it.
> 
> Even this doesn't exactly seem up to par with my other stuff, but I really did try to make it as good as possible given the time I had. I've considered writing a fourth chapter after this one, but I'm also afraid of making promises I can't keep. I guess we'll just have to see what happens from here on out. For now, this is going to be it. But if I ever feel so inclined I might add a chapter or two.
> 
> As always, I'd love to thank you guys for the ongoing love and support. I couldn't do this without you guys. (Well, I could but it'd be really pathetic.) You guys have been so wonderful and supportive that you make it impossible to quit. I love you guys, and I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> Without any further ado, here's the conclusion to this three-parter.

_'tick' 'tick' 'tick'_

Kara's jaw tightened every so slightly, as her ears unintentionally honed in on the small sound coming from Lena's wristwatch. As each second went by, the ticking grew louder and louder, until it sounded like someone was beating a bass drum right next to Kara's ear. Now that Kara had a chance to dwell on it, a large part of her couldn't help but wonder how she ever missed the sound of her wristwatch. But it's more than that. Kara can't figure out how she'd missed Lena's distinctive heartbeat - how she'd had no idea that the love of her life was in the same room as her. Because the sound of Lena's strong and steady heartbeat, had always been one of the things Kara focused on. Kara hadn't meant for it to happen, but she realized a while ago that she had Lena's heartbeat memorized. Over the course of their friendship, they'd spent a lot of time together watching movies. And oftentimes, they curled up together on the couch. In fact, they were so close that the minuscule touches, seared Kara to the bone. It wouldn't matter if they were only grazes, and fleeting touches, Kara felt them acutely. It was like everything in her body was crying out for more. Her fingers would twitch almost restlessly as they sought out Lena's skin. And it took everything in Kara, to resist. Kara's resolve had certainly been tested on those evenings spent in close proximity. Sure, Kara would like to pretend that she'd gotten better at resisting over the course of the last few weeks. But that would be a lie. Kara's resolve was a fragile thing. And sooner or later her feeble efforts to resist Lena, would become just that....feeble, broken. Kara would give in and take what she so desperately wanted.

 

“Kara?” Lena was the first to find her voice, but the blonde’s name was little more than a breath of air upon Lena’s lips. Still, it held an undeniable affection to it, too. After all, it would be impossible for Lena to keep her feelings out of things now. She could see Kara shutting down before her very eyes, and so realistically she knew that she would have to be the brave one, just this once. Kara was the bravest, fiercest person that Lena had ever met. But right now, where Kara was on the brink of losing it all, Kara was weak and afraid. She was not the woman that Lena had come to love and know these last couple years.

Kara opened her mouth to speak, but the words ultimately failed her, and only garbled words and squeaks came out. Her jaw worked furiously over - and struggled over - words that simply _would not come_. Kara swallowed. Her throat was suddenly so dry it was painful for her to swallow. Kara closed her eyes as she felt her hands begin to tremble. Slowly they curled in on themselves as she struggled to hide it. In fact, Kara’s hands began to shake so violently that Lena could see the tremors working their way through the cords of muscle in Kara’s forearms. Lena ached to reach out for her. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her terrified best friend, and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

In the mean time, Kara struggled to calm herself by honing in on the sound of Lena's heartbeat, and her soft, evenly spaced breaths. Kara's eyelids flickered back open as she heard Lena's heart rate increase suddenly, as Lena felt the weight settle between them. There were so many things to talk about - so many feelings they needed to address, and they were both struggling to put words to them. 

Kara could identify characteristics that made Lena's heartbeat unique. She knew that Lena had slight heart murmur, and that sometimes the contraction of her heart was just a tiny bit premature. differentiate between her best friend's heartbeat and any one else's. National City was a city of roughly 5 million people and Kara had little doubt that she'd be able to hone in on Lena's heartbeat, and find her (so long as she was within about 50 miles). The only other person's heartbeat she'd ever memorized before and been her sister's.

 _I never meant to make it such a mess_  
_I never thought that it would go this far_  
_So I just stand here sorry_  
_Searching for something to say_  
_Something to say_

 _Words fail, words fail_ _  
There's nothing I can say_

“Kara, hey, talk to me,” Lena pleaded, as the weight settling between them came to be too much for her to bear alone. “Say something. _Please_. I can’t take this silence. It feels like it's killing me, and I don't... I don't know what to do.” Kara's jaw tightened, and her eyes darted away from Lena's face. She was aware that Lena was trying to hold her gaze, but Kara was in too much of a panic. She was too insecure to let Lena in like that. In fact, if she was being honest, Kara would say that she was scared out of her mind. She was scared that all of her nightmares were finally going to come to fruition and she was about to lose the one person that mattered the most to her.

“Kara,” Lena tried again. She was unwilling to give up on her. Not now. Not after everything.

“I'm sorry. I - I’m trying,” Kara breathed in frustration, as she closed her eyes, “But all of the words seem to be failing me.”

“Then keep trying,” Lena pressed. She was praying for some sort of miracle. It felt like she was losing Kara, and that scared her beyond belief. “ _Please_. Please don’t give up on me now.”

“I c-can’t,” Kara’s voice shook, “I’m sorry, Lee, but I can’t d-do this,” Kara stuttered, as she rushed for the door. The flight had won out over fight, and Kara was desperate to get away, consequences be damned. Kara's hand was on the handle of the door, when Lena caught her.

“Kara Danvers,” Lena’s voice held an authority to it that Kara had never heard before, “If you walk out of this room right now, without even so much as _trying_ to talk to me, then we’re _done_. There will be no saving us. Do you understand me?” Kara froze, her breath stuttering in her lungs, as she felt Lena’s hand wrap around her bicep. She felt the sear of the touch penetrate to the very bone. Kara let out a tremulous breath and let her head fall forward against the door. Kara breathed in slowly, then out, then in again, and let her hand fall away from the handle. Lena felt a sense of victory. Kara was still willing to fight for them, scared as she might be. Lena gently pulled at the superhero, trying to get Kara to turn towards her. After a bit of goading, Kara gave in. However, Kara’s eyes remained fixed to the floor.

 _I guess I thought I could be part of this_  
_I never had this kind of thing before_  
_I never had that perfect girl_  
_Who somehow could see the good part of me_

“Kara, hey, look at me,” Lena pleaded, and Kara made the mistake of looking up and glancing into Lena’s jade green eyes. For a heart-stopping moment, green clashed with blue, before Kara averted her eyes in shame.

“No,” Lena protested. Her voice was soft, but resolute. Kara flinched as she felt Lena’s hand under her chin, lifting her gaze once more, “Hey, there’s no need to hide from me. Not anymore. As of right now, there will be no more secrets between us. Do you understand? We’ve come too far to go back now.” 

“Lena,” Kara can’t stop her voice from cracking. Kara felt her heart squeeze as Lena’s thumb swept across her left cheek, erasing the evidence of her tears. Kara shivered as Lena’s hand slid down. She could feel it skate over the outside of her shoulder, down her arm, her forearm, and beyond – until it eventually reached her hand. Kara’s breaths hitched as she felt Lena gently prize her hand open.

“Kara,” Lena said softly as Kara’s eyes searched her face. Lena wore an expression of such love, of such gentleness, that Kara could scarcely believe it. Where was the hatred Kara had been expecting? How could Lena even bear to look at her? Because Kara knew that if their positions had been reversed, she would have had a hard time looking Lena in the eyes.

“How can you even look at me?” Kara asked her with such seriousness that it hurt Lena’s heart just a little bit. “How can you look at me with anything other than hatred?”

“Full disclosure?” Lena said with just a hint of teasing. “Because you mean a lot to me too, Kara. In fact, you mean more than I have ever been able to express.” Lena watched as tears continued to collect in Kara’s eyes, and spill over. “Please don’t cry,” Lena begged her finally. It hurt to see Kara in so much pain. “It kills me to see you cry.”

 _I never had the dad who stuck it out_  
_No corny jokes or baseball gloves_  
_No mom who just was there_  
_'Cause mom was all that she had to be_

“I’m sorry,” Kara said with a quaver of her voice, and a broken laugh. “I’m the one that seriously messed up,” Kara admitted, “You shouldn’t have to be the one to comfort me.” 

“Kara,” Lena shook her head in sadness, “Stop. You have to stop being so hard on yourself. Okay? You made a mistake. We all make mistakes.”

“And yet - you’ve never done anything half as horrible as what I’ve done,” Kara told her. Lena just shook her head.

 _That's not a worthy explanation_  
_I know there is none_  
_Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done_

“I – I owe you an apology, so _many_ apologies actually,” Kara whispered. “I – “ Kara choked on the beginning of her sentence. “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you before. I’m _really_ sorry, Lena.”

“Kara-” Lena said weakly, “Hey, I’m sorry too. What I said before was-”

“No,” Kara shook her head, “You were just trying to be a good friend to me, and I practically bit your head off. You did such an incredible job today. The truth is, you were an amazing friend, and an even better boss. And I’m so – I’m so _so_ sorry for the way I acted.” 

“Kara, this is new to me too, you know?” Lena joked. 

“Working with friends?” Kara asked. 

“No,” Lena laughed, “ _Having_ friends. Luthors don’t exactly have friends. They have minions. Look, I… I know that today hasn’t been easy for either of us. But I promise you that everything that happened today doesn’t change any of that. I still feel grateful- I am so _grateful_ that you’re my friend, Kara.”

“How?” Kara’s voice failed her again, and she had to try and start all over again. “How can you possibly say that? How can you forgive me? I was horrible to you, Lena, when all you were trying to do was help me. And that’s not even the worst part! I – I’ve basically been lying to you this whole time.”

 _Words fail, words fail_  
_There's nothing I can say_  
_Except sometimes, you see everything you wanted_  
_And sometimes, you see everything you wish you had_  
_And it's right there, right there, right there_  
_In front of you_  
_And you want to believe it's true_  
_So you... make it true_  
_And you think maybe everybody wants it_  
_And needs it... a little bit... too_

“You’re right,” Lena agreed. “You lied to me. You kept things from me that I wish you hadn’t. But I also understand _why_ you did it.”

“Lee - That’s no excuse,” Kara argued. “There is literally no excuse for the way I acted. I’ve been horrible to you. I’ve lied to you about who I am, over, and over, and over again.”

“Did you ever lie to me about how you felt?” Lena asked.

“What? No… I would never…”

“Kara, this is _important_ , and I need to know. Do you trust me? Do you truly believe I’m a good person?” Lena grilled her.

“Of course!” Kara exclaimed. “Rao, Lena, you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met. You’re extraordinary. You're selfless, and smart, and kind. You were raised in an apathetic environment that was by all means very cruel, but instead of making you cold, it made you warm, and loving, and I – I just…. You astound me, Lena."

“Then, as far as I’m concerned,” Lena told her, “That’s all that matters.” Kara shook her head and tried to pull away.

“Kara,” Lena sighed. She wished that she could make her understand.

“Your mother said that when you found out, that you would…you would _hate me_ ,” Kara nearly sobbed the last several words, and Lena felt her heart break. “I didn’t want to believe her, but a large part of me feared that she was right.” Lena fought to hang on as Kara pulled away from her.

 _This was just a sad invention_  
_It wasn't real, I know_  
_But we were happy_  
_I guess I couldn't let that go_  
_I guess I couldn't give that up_  
_I guess I wanted to believe_  
_'Cause if I just believe_  
_Then I don't have to see what's really there_

“Kara,” Lena shook her head, fighting to keep a hold on the invaluable woman in front of her. “Kara, _look_ at me. Please _listen_ _to me_. This is _important_.” Kara held her breath as she stopped fighting. “I don’t hate you. _God_ , I could never – I could _never_ hate you. _Ever_. In fact, it’s just the opposite. I – I love you so much, and I’m so grateful that you’re in my life.” Kara flinched, as if the words were an insult rather than a declaration. “Look, I’m not going to lie to you and say that I’m not hurt…that I _wasn’t_ hurt when I found out the truth. But what was also readily apparent during that moment was _love_. I love you, Kara. And I forgive you.”

“I don’t deserve it. I do not deserve your kindness,” Kara said with a shake of her head, “or your forgiveness, Lena.”

“I think I’ll be the judge of that,” Lena told her sternly. 

“You’d be so much better off without me,” Kara told her.

“I think I’ll be the judge of that, too,” Lena told her. “Kara, from the moment that you entered my life, you have been the one good thing in it. You have loved me, and believed in me, and fought for me. You have given me everything short of offering your real name. And I think I can forgive you for that.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Kara asked her. “Everyone that I love…” Lena silenced Kara with a finger to her lips.

“Kara,” Lena’s voice was pleading

“Don’t you understand? He’s dead because of me!” Kara exclaimed with a crack of her voice. Lena felt her heart shatter, as she pulled Kara into her arms, she felt Kara’s shuddering sobs, as Kara buried her face into Lena’s neck. Lena just held her. “I used to think I was remembering the past…. I used to think that it was me in the pod, but it’s not. It’s _him_. It’s him, Lena. I _loved him_ and I _killed him_.”

 _No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than_  
_These broken parts_  
_Pretend I'm something other than_  
_This mess that I am_  
_'Cause then I don't have to look at it_  
_And no one gets to look at it_  
_No, no one can really see_

“Shh,” Lena breathed as she pulled Kara tighter against her, and let the blonde use her for comfort. It was hard to know that Kara was still so broken up over what had happened months ago, and that there was nothing that Lena could do, except hold her. “Shh, love. I won’t tell you that it’s going to be okay, because I can’t promise you that. All I can do… All I can do right now is hold you. Please just know that I’m here for you. I love you. And I’m going to be here for as long as you need.”

“The worst part is the guilt,” Kara spoke into her neck. “The worse part is not knowing what happened to him.”

“I know,” Lena whispered. “And I – I can’t even imagine what that would be like, Kara. But I believe he’s alive.”

“How do you know?” Kara asked her.

“I – The truth is, I…I can’t tell you _how_ I know. I just… _feel_ it,” Lena admitted. “He’s alive. And he’ll find his way back to you, Kara, I just know it.”

“You’re so wonderful,” Kara breathed against Lena’s neck. She could feel Kara’s breaths, and the cool tracks of water left there by Kara’s tears, and it made her shiver. “Rao, what did I ever do to deserve you?” 

“Uh…” Lena honestly didn’t know how to answer that question.

“How awful of a person does it make me that I’m in love with you?” Kara asked her, “When my boyfriend is out there somewhere? When it’s my fault he’s out there alone?”

“Kara,” Lena told her gently. “Oh god, how do I even answer that? Loving me doesn’t make you a horrible person. In fact, loving someone isn’t something that you should ever have to feel guilty for. I honestly believe that Mon-El wouldn’t want you to be miserable like this. He’d want…he’d want you to press on – to be happy. He’d want you to let yourself be loved. I…I love you, Kara.”

“No,” Kara said as she wrenched herself from Lena’s arms, leaving Lena feeling empty and cold. “Lena, you can’t… you can’t love me. Don’t you get it? Loving _me_ is like the kiss of death! Loving me will be your _end_.”

  
_'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake_  
_Before I even turn the key_  
_Before I make the mistake_  
_Before I lead with the worst of me_  
_I never let them see the worst of me_

 

“Kara-“

“NO!” Kara shouted, “Don’t you hear me? You cannot love me, Lena.”

“I don’t care!” Lena told her in all seriousness.

“I can’t!” Kara sobbed. Her shoulders were shaking so hard that Lena was afraid that they would rend themselves apart. “I can’t lose you. _Please_. You have to-“ 

“Damn it, Kara! I can’t! Don’t you get it? It’s already too late! I – I love you, Kara Danvers, and it’s too late for me to stop now. Hell, I don’t think I could ever go back. Not now. You’re _everything_ to me.”

“Lena,” Kara’s voice cracked. “You don’t even know my real name.”

“That doesn’t matter to me!” Lena argued, “Because I know everything about you that matters. I know the kind of person you are. I know that you’re brave and selfless, and so _so_ kind. You would do anything, and give everything for a complete stranger, because that’s just the kind of person you are. Please…you have to understand, Kara, I can’t help the way I feel about you. I just – I just feel the way I feel.”

“It’s Zor-El,” Kara swallowed, “Kara Zor-El.”

“Kara,” Lena gasped quietly, as she tried out the name and it’s syllables, “Kara Zor-El.” Then. “God, I love the way that sounds. Kara Zor-El of planet Krypton.”

“Lee,” Kara pleaded.

 _'Cause what if everyone saw?_  
_What if everyone knew?_  
_Would they like what they saw?_  
_Or would they hate it too?_  
_Will I just keep on running away from what's true?_

“Shh,” Lena ordered, in a gentle but stern voice. Kara met her gaze, and felt her heart stop. Kara felt her chest warm exponentially. It felt like something was alive in her, for the first time in months. She felt the stirrings of something warm, warm and fuzzy in her chest. She felt it constrict and tighten under the knowledge that she was loved…loved and cared for. Lena must have noticed the strange look in Kara’s eyes, because she breathed. “Kara?”

Kara unconsciously licked her lips, as she peered deep into Lena’s eyes.

“Your – Your eyes have little flecks of blue in them,” Kara breathed aloud, with nothing short of amazement. “How have I never noticed that before?” Lena felt something shift between them. The air became thick, and almost heated. “Rao, they’re beautiful.” Lena shivered as she felt Kara’s hand against her face. Lena’s eyes closed of their own accord as she focused on the feeling of Kara’s hand upon her face. They were so soft against her skin, softer than Lena could have ever imagined, given the things that Kara used them for on a daily basis. She’d seen the blonde throw many punches over the last couple of years, but Kara’s hands didn’t look like that of a superhero. They looked gentle and tender, and _so_ soft.

“Lee?” Kara asked with a throat, and tongue that was much too dry, causing Lena to open her eyes once more. When Lena’s gaze found the hungry expression upon Kara’s face she knew she was done for.

 _All I ever do is run_  
_So how do I step in_  
_Step into the sun?_  
_Step into the sun_

She isn’t sure who made the first move – only that one moment they were futilely resisting the monumental forces between them, and the next they were both giving in. Kara was gentle as she guided Lena’s mouth to her own. Inches became centimeters, and centimeters became millimeters, until no space was left between them. Lips collided in the infinitesimal distance between them. It was rapturous. It was languid, and slow - exploratory but passionate. Lena shivered, as she focused on the feel of Kara’s lips against hers. Lena felt her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks, as they drifted closed. It tickled just a little bit, and Lena nearly laughed. But then the mood changed. They both became emboldened and hungry. She isn’t sure who moaned first, but soon enough, soft mewls of contentment were exchanged between them, as they both deepened the kiss and stepped into it. They kissed like this for a long minute, both allowing themselves to experience it wholeheartedly, without reserve. Lena relaxed, as she heard Kara sigh against her, as if she too were unbelievably content.

Lena honestly felt like she could spend an eternity kissing Kara. But eventually, the need for oxygen won out. Kara seemed to sense her need for a break, because she carefully broke the kiss. Then, slowly and reluctantly, they parted. Neither of them dared to separate. It felt like a dream. It was almost as if time had stopped for them, and hadn’t thought to start up again. Something monumental had shifted between them, and Lena couldn’t see things ever going back to the way they were before.

“Was that –“ Kara hesitated for a moment. She sucked in a soft breath as their foreheads brushed together, and Lena’s eyes fluttered open. Kara couldn’t bring herself to step out of Lena’s space, not yet, “Was that okay?” They were both breathing a little heavily. “I’m sorry if I was out of line, I just- Rao, I really wanted to kiss you.“ Then. “I know that you probably-“

“Kara,” Lena laughed, and the sound was like music to Kara’s ears. “Are you seriously trying to apologize for _that_? Because that was the best kiss I have ever had, and I might seriously consider bashing you on the head if you try and take it back now.”

“The best kiss you ever had, huh?” Kara laughed, with a hint of cockiness to her voice. To which, Lena’s response was to swat at her shoulder.

This, of course, wound up hurting Lena more than it hurt Kara. 

“Oww!” Lena hissed, as she shook out her hand.

 “Yeah, you might not want to do that,” Kara told her. “ _I’ve been told that_ I’m made of steel,” Kara laughed.

“Damn, Kara! That _really_ hurt,” Lena whined.

“Aww,” Kara’s voice softened, “Here, let me make it better.” Lena shivered as Kara gently lifted Lena’s hand to her lips and kissed it. She pressed lingering kisses to each of Lena’s palm, and Lena couldn’t stop several shuddering breaths from escaping. Kara was driving her completely wild.

Lena’s heart leapt into her throat, as she door opened with a loud bang, and Alex waltzed inside, seemingly oblivious to what she’d interrupted. She discovered it soon enough, however, when Kara literally jumped away from Lena, with a healthy shade of pink adorning her cheeks.

“Sorry if I interrupted something important,” Alex spoke awkwardly, “but I thought you’d want to know. Winn finished the psychic dampener.”

“Oh,” Kara looked somewhat crestfallen, as reality came crashing back in. “Right! The uh…. The dampener…for the thingy.”

“You alright, Kar?” Alex nearly laughed at the expression on Kara’s face.

“O-Of course,” Kara responded a little too quickly. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Alex wore an expression of skepticism on her face. She had the sense that she’d interrupted something important.

“So,” Alex spoke slowly, as she looked from Kara to Lena, and then back again. “Did I?”

“Did you what?” Kara questioned.

“Interrupt something?” Alex pressed, “Cause you look like you just got caught with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar, and I would know _all about_ what that looks like.”

“No!” Kara denied, but the traitorous squeak of her voice belied that fact. Lena nearly laughed out loud as she watched the way Alex arched a brow at Kara. “No! We were just talking. Right, Lena?”

“Right,” Lena breathed. “We were just _talking_ … As you might have guessed, we had _a lot_ to discuss.”

“O-kay,” Alex replied. “So, are you ready to go, Kar?”

“Uh… Yeah, I think so,” Kara replied. “Lena? Is it going to be okay if I go?” Kara voiced as she turned to Lena. “Or do you want me to stay so that we can finish what we were… discussing?” She searched Lena’s face, while desperately and silently praying there was still hope for them. She couldn’t help but think that Alex had terrible timing. Kara was afraid that if she gave Lena too much time, she would rethink the things she had said. Kara didn’t know if she could bear to go back to the way things were before, now that she knew what Lena’s lips felt like upon her own.

“Go! I’ll be fine,” Lena told her with a soft smile. “Go get her, Kara. Everything else can wait for now.”

“Movie night later?” Kara asked her hopefully. “We can finish watching the Wizard of Oz?” 

“That _better_ be all you two are doing,” Alex mumbled under her breath. Kara blushed a deep shade of scarlet. Still, she almost laughed when she took in the pouting expression on her sister’s face.

“Sure, Darling,” Lena nodded, “I – I’ll call you after I get out of work.”

“Come on, Kar,” Alex said, “Psi is wreaking havoc on 37th street. We gotta go now, if we’re going to have any hope of stopping her.” Kara shot Lena one last apologetic look, as Alex started pulling her from the room. Lena gave Kara one last reassuring smile, before the door clanked shut, and she was gone.

 

* * *

 

Many hours later, an exhausted Kara landed just inside of her bedroom with a loud, floor-shaking thud. With a deep, weighted breath, Kara swung her cape over her shoulder and tugged it off, before she tossed it over the back of her nearby chair. She methodically stripped herself, and tossed her super suit, in its many pieces, onto the plush armchair. She was exhausted. Psi was finally in holding at the DEO where she belonged, but Kara had gone through nothing short of hell in order to get her there.

 Dragging her feet in exhaustion, Kara trudged into to her bathroom, and wrenched open the shower door. She cranked the water as hot as it would go, and shut the door. Kara’s head pounded as she listened to the pipes creak, and she shut her eyes for a long moment, listening to the soothing sound of water gushing from the shower head. It was late…too late to call Lena and ask to see her, so Kara resigned herself to the notion of a shower, before ultimately flopping into bed and going to sleep. 

Kara pulled down her underwear dropping them onto the floor. She reached behind her, unclasped her bra, and let it fall. Her bra took up residence in the space next to her underwear, and Kara stepped into the shower. She groaned, and sighed as the hot water made contact with her skin. For any human, the temperature would have been scalding and might have resulted in a trip to the ER in order to be treated for burns, but for Kara it was absolute heaven. Kara closed her eyes and let her exhaustion and her worries melt away. The heat coaxed the soreness and the exhaustion from her bones, before it was ultimately disposed of down the drain. Kara methodically washed her hair and body, and did so with her eyes closed. She rinsed, conditioned, and reluctantly cut the flow of water. The coolness of the air that rushed in after the water was turned off was enough to jolt her wide-awake. Kara shivered as she opened the shower door and reached for her towel. She quickly wiped the residual moisture from her body, and wrung out her hair over the drain. It wasn’t until she stepped out into the bathroom that she realized that she didn’t have any clothes set aside. 

Kara had just stepped out into her bedroom, while dripping water all over the floor, when she heard a tentative knock at the door. Kara actually jumped, as the sound echoed through her otherwise silent apartment. Kara’s eyes darted to the clock at her bedside, and then to the door at the front of the apartment. With her x-ray vision, Kara could see Lena standing on the other side of the large metal door. Kara could scarcely believe it. Kara used her super speed to change into a set of clothes, and skidded to a stop in front of the door. Lena had just raised her hand to knock a second time, when Kara wrenched open the door so vigorously that she nearly took it clean off of its hinges.

Lena looked mildly startled for a moment, before she was able to gain her composure. With a sheepish look on her face, Lena lowered her hand back to her side.

“Lena,” Kara breathed in amazement, as if her presence there was a complete surprise. “Hey! What are you doing here? You never called, so I just assumed that you’d decided to go to bed.” 

Lena’s jaw dropped slightly open as she took in the way Kara’s damp tank clung to her middle. Kara’s bright white tank had turned mildly see-through as the water from Kara’s hair soaked into the fabric. Lena’s gaze hungrily followed a rivulet of water, as it descended from Kara’s neck down to the dip between Kara’s collarbones. Lena subconsciously licked her lips, as she thought about chasing that bead of water with her tongue.

Lena actually felt her abdomen clench, as she took in the way Kara’s dusky nipples were visible through the fabric. And then there were muscles, _so_ _many_ muscles. Lena could see the outline of Kara’s abs through the fabric of the tank as well. The sight did strange things to Lena’s mind and to her body.

“Lee?” Kara’s voice held a hint of teasing to it, as she spoke.

“Hmm?” Lena hummed, before looking up and into Kara’s eyes.

“Did you come here for some purpose?” Kara teased her. 

“Yeah, I - I actually came here to…” Lena swallowed as she made the mistake of looking down again. Kara’s legs were on full display, in her absurdly short running shorts, and all of Lena’s earlier resolve to not jump into things went right out the window. “You know what? Screw it!” Lena breathed, before she sprang forwards, and claimed Kara’s lips with her own. There was a hunger and desperation to the kiss, as Lena threw her entire weight into it. Kara moaned into her mouth as both of Lena’s hands seized Kara’s cheeks, and Lena took what she desperately wanted. Kara actually staggered backwards, surprised at the ferocity with which Lena kissed her. The kisses did not wane, nor abate. If anything, they deepened.

Kara kissed her back, grasping Lena’s hips with her hands, as she pulled Lena flush against her. There was a loud bang, as Lena slammed the door shut behind her. In another heartbeat, Kara had pushed Lena up against the door. Lena let out a moan as her back made contact with the surface. Kara quickly readjusted her grip, so that her hands were behind Lena’s thighs, and tugged. Lena let out a faint yelp into Kara’s mouth as her feet quickly left the floor, and her center made contact with Kara’s middle. This display of raw strength left Lena feeling breathless and a little bit dizzy. It was hot as hell, and Lena didn’t know how to handle it. Lena grasped Kara’s shoulders, in order to steady herself, and wrapped her legs around Kara’s back, as Kara continued to ravish her right there against the wall, making her slide up and down the wall with each movement of Kara’s hips.

“Oh,” Lena gasped, as ground against Kara’s middle, using her for the delicious friction. “Oh god.” Kara answered this, by thrusting against her, to delicious consequences. 

Kara moaned faintly into Lena’s mouth, as Lena’s nails carved tingling trails into the bare skin of Kara’s shoulder blades, though it was impossible for Lena to mark her in the way that she might have wanted. The raised red trails were gone from the blonde’s skin almost immediately.

Lena squeezed her eyes shut as she focused on the feeling of the blonde’s drifting lips upon the underside of her jaw. 

“Kara,” Lena moaned, in an altogether raspy voice that sent a fresh wave of arousal to Kara’s core. 

“Hmm?” Kara hummed distractedly. 

“The couch,” Lena begged. “Please. The _couch_.”

Kara quickly backed them towards the couch, and submitted as Lena indicated for her to lower herself down onto it, before Lena ultimately followed her down onto Kara’s lap, so that she was straddling her.

“You know, I’ve always had a feeling you were a top,” Kara joked between fervent, heated kisses.

“Shut up,” Lena ordered, before she kissed Kara with everything she had.

“Lee,” Kara groaned, as she reached up to palm Lena’s firm backside. Lena moaned hungrily into Kara’s mouth, and began rocking gently against her. Kara’s tongue begged entrance into Lena’s mouth, teasing and probing, until Lena’s lips finally parted, and Kara’s tongue pushed inside. She timed each press of her tongue to the rocking of Lena’s hips… and did so with maddening effects. Lena’s entire body responded in kind.

“God,” Lena groaned. “Why have you never mentioned how good of a lover you were? Because if you had, we would have done this eons ago.”

“Uh… Probably because it never really came up in conversation,” Kara replied. “And I didn’t think you-“ Lena swallowed Kara’s next words, making it clear that she never really expected Kara to answer her.

“Don’t be _absurd_. I - I’ve always been into you, Kara,” Lena admitted. “In fact, from the time of our very first meeting, I’ve wanted to push you down on the couch in my office and fuck you senseless.”

“Rao, Lena,” Kara moaned as Lena wrenched her mouth from Kara’s own and began to press a trail of kisses down Kara’s neck, licking up the trails of water she’d been ogling earlier. “You can’t just say stuff like that! You’re driving me insane.”

“Would you like that, Kara?” Lena asked. She let herself be bold, for once. “Would you like it if I pushed you down on this couch, and took you like you’ve never been taken in your life?”

“You have no idea,” Kara admitted, as she threaded her fingers through Lena’s hair and held Lena’s mouth against her. “Rao. You - You have no idea how badly I want you right now, but…but I think we need to talk about what all this means, first.”

“And what does this mean to you?” Lena questioned. “Do you want this? Do you want us?”

“In no uncertain terms? Yes,” Kara breathed. “Yes, I do. But…But it’s sort of complicated, isn’t it? I mean…if what you said earlier is to be believed, Mon-El is out there somewhere, and he and I are still technically together. And, unfortunately, this isn’t one of those situations where I can just call or text him in order to let him know that I have feelings for someone else. I can’t tell him that I want to see other people.”

“Oh,” the thought sobered Lena up somewhat.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Kara spoke. “I love you, and I want to be with you. The truth is, I really want to see where this takes us. But I also really want to do right by you, Lee, because you deserve the best, and nothing _but_ the best.” 

“And you think that waiting is the right thing to do,” Lena sighed.

“No. If I’m being honest, I don’t know what the right thing to do _is_. Because the way I see it, there’s a potential that someone is going to get hurt, no matter what I do. I just… I don’t want to do things the wrong way,” Kara told her, “I don’t want _you_ or Mon-El to get hurt. I care about you both deeply.”

“Do I get a choice in all of this?” Lena questioned.

“Of course you do, Lee,” Kara answered, “More than anything else in this world, I want you to be happy.”

“Then I’m going to lay all of my cards out on the table,” Lena informed her. “I love you, Kara. I’m in love with you, and I _want_ to be with you. But I also _refuse_ to share you with anyone else. So you need to decide what it is _you_ want. If you decide that you love me and want to be with me, then I’ll assume that means you’re going to end things with Mon-El if he should ever find his way back to you. But if you decide that you still have feelings for him, and aren’t ready to move on just yet, I’ll understand that, as well. You’re just going to have to let me know, so that I can properly-”

“I already know what it is that I want,” Kara told her gently, with a finger to the lips.

“Yeah?” Lena asked hopefully.

“Oh yeah,” Kara smiled, as she reached up and palmed Lena’s face with her hand. “You’re my beginning and my end, Lena. There is _no one_  for me but you.”

“Jeez. You’re so cheezy, Kara Zor-El,” Lena laughed, “Who would’ve thought that the greatest superhero this city and this world has ever seen, would be such a softie?”

“Shut up,” Kara ordered her. “You know you like it.”

“How about you let me show you just how much I like it?” Lena said with a waggle of her eyebrows. 

“Shut up and kiss me already,” Kara commanded, before she wasted no more time and took Lena’s lips hungrily with her own.

Kara shivered in anticipation as Lena turned them and pushed Kara down onto the couch, while slowly pulling up Kara’s tank with her hands. The last barriers to their happiness were quickly shed and tossed away to the floor, before their love and their relationship was cemented for all of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't know what to say here exactly. I only hope that this wasn't a total let down. If you have a minute, please take the time to leave me some feedback, so that I can know what you guys think. Thanks again for reading!
> 
> The lyrics in this chapter are from the song "Words Fail." It's from the musical Dear Evan Hansen, and Ben Platt does an incredible job with it. I would highly recommend you listen to it if you have a chance. 
> 
> I will try and update my other stories soon, so please don't give up on me. I just ask for your patience. Thanks! I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> So I know that Kara's breakdown in the elevator was called a panic attack on the show, but since Kara didn't know that, I figured it would've been possible for her to pass out. Hyperventilation can do weird things to the human body. Also, I needed it to happen, for the sake of the story.
> 
> Also, do we really believed that no one noticed the Kara sized hole that Kara left in the roof of the elevator and the roof of Catco building in last night's episode? Because that seems kind of fishy to me. This scenario would've made a lot more sense, imo. (Okay, so maybe I really wanted Lena to learn about Kara's secret identity sooner rather than later! Because we all know that there's going to be a direct correlation between the length of time it takes for Lena to learn Kara's secret, and how angry/betrayed Lena's going to feel.)


End file.
